Will I ever be summer body ready?

Summer. I love it and I hate it. I love it because the nights get lighter, boozy picnics are a thing, cutesy dresses are appropriate for any occasion and my holidaying obsession comes into full force. Everyone just seems a bit happier when the sun's out don't they? A Mr Whippy will make even your most miserable mate smile. And if it doesn't? Ditch them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life - Mr Whippy is the bomb diggity and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Despite its perks, I also kind of dislike summer. Why? Because if you're a woman summer can be a bit shit. As soon as Christmas is done and dusted, out come the usual crappy adverts which ultimately have one goal: to make you feel crap for not looking like Gisele for your summer holiday.

The bikini body. The summer body. Call it what you will, but the pressure for women to look good gets ramped up to the extreme over the summer months. If you haven't signed up to a gym and committed to only eating lettuce, then who the hell are you to try and go on a beach? You should remain in a darkened room, out of sight and out of mind whilst only the aesthetically pleasing men and women frolic around in the sea.

I'm sure there are certain pressures for men also, but it's very rare you see a man's double chin or wobbly thighs circled in big fat red marker in a glossy magazine for all to see. Or even worse, the magazine will print an unflattering picture of a celebrity woman in a bikini and headline it ‘so and so flaunts her new curves.’ The photo of so and so sat on a recliner whilst chowing on a burger isn't meant to promote body positivity - the magazine knows it's a horrible photo, but they're forcing you to think it's a horrible photo off your own back. “What? Us? We think it's a lovely photo of her many rolls and dimpled thighs”, they'll plead whilst posting a picture of the same celebrity, sizes smaller and standing tall months earlier as a comparison. I'm so on to you, you vultures.

If you're the kind of person that goes to a beach and spends your time judging others on their bodies, then perhaps you need some more mates and a bit of a slap in the face.

Now I'm not denying the summer months are difficult for all women, but if you happen to be a slightly curvier woman sans thigh gap, the judgement is about to increase.

It's only April and how many photos have you seen of a larger lady in a bikini circulated around the internet whilst slim friends write ‘oh god, this will be me in Maga’ Stop being a jerk Stephanie. As far as I am aware, there's no size restriction to wearing any piece of clothing - if you like it and you feel comfortable in it, then wear it. Forget what small minded idiots who spend every summer in Magaluf think - chances are they’re deeply unhappy with themselves or just straight up bellends. Either way, forget them.

I remember going on holiday a couple of years ago and I was in a club with my friends, when the DJ began to play Mika’s ‘big girls you are beautiful.’ I refused to dance as I felt everybody would be looking at me, as I was the only woman who was above a size 10 there. It was made worse by the DJ jeering ‘after a few drinks’ once every chorus played. This was a man who was not skinny and had definitely had a few beers and pies in his time, but alas it didn't matter because he was a man. No woman was going to shout ‘fat slag’ at him down the street or publicly berate him for his double chin. It doesn't seem right.

Yes there may be adverts aimed at men with pictures of six packs - but it's a known fact that not every woman cares for a six pack so you can look how you like and still be datable. This same thinking doesn't seem to apply for women. If you're not a size 8, then you're punching if a man chooses you. You should feel lucky. You can't be sexy and comfortable in your own skin if you're a size 14, it's just not fundamentally right.

When I was younger and a little more self conscious I got badly burnt on holiday in Cyprus and had to wear a t-shirt in the pool for the remainder of my stay so I didn't expose my arms to the harsh rays. I relished this. I had an excuse to cover up and hide away. If people couldn't see my body, they couldn't comment on it.

As I've grown older and wiser, I've realised it doesn't matter how much you cover up - if someone wants to be a dick, then they will be a dick but it's not a reflection on you...it’s a reflection on them.

There will always be a part of me that wants to look like that glamorous woman by the pool with the slender legs and massive hat - but I've accepted that I'm going to be the girl with the sweaty forehead who gets dunked underwater by her boyfriend. And honestly? I'm okay with that.

I still get days where I feel self conscious or allow myself to get sucked up into the ‘must be thin for holiday’ mantra..but then I'll see women who are my size or above who look fabulous and rock it and I think how boring it would be if everyone was a copy and paste version of each other.

So this year you can sod your summer body. My body will be wearing what I like, and you bet I'll be having a Mr Whippy in one hand.

HayleyHeartsxo